How to Deal with a Prince (or difficult people)
Thoughts on Proverbs 25:12
“By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, And a soft tongue breaks the bone.” ~ Proverbs 25:12
I know young girls long for their Prince Charming, and Disney paints a certain picture of princes in our minds, but royalty could be stubborn in Biblical times. They often were difficult to deal with.
Even today, it’s impossible to go through life without encountering people who are….well…difficult.
If you ever find yourself dealing with princes (let’s be real) or difficult people, there are two biblical guides we rarely consider.
Guides that go against our natural tendencies, leaving us dependent upon the help of the Holy Spirit.
They are patience and gentleness.
In his commentary on Proverbs, Matthew Henry described the idea of “forbearing” as being:
“able to bear a present heat without being put into a heat by it, and to wait for a fit opportunity to offer our reasons and to give persons time to consider them.”
Our pride struggles with the phrase “bearing heat without being put into heat.” When someone pours out insults and wrath on us, we naturally kick into a defensive posture and lash out with our own set of insults and heat.
Instead, this Proverb tells us that long forbearing brings persuasion.
It also tells us that a “soft tongue” or gentle and kind response can overcome the roughest of spirits.
My immediate reaction to that is, yeah, right!
I’ve received several verbal attacks, and gentleness is not my first thought. However, according to this proverb (and many other Bible principles), gentleness has a way of breaking through. It offers a potential breakthrough when communication has broken down.
I recently read where Nabal offended King David. He mocked David. Yeah, the David that slew a lion, bear, and Goliath! Nabal had the nerve to insult that David!
David, with his manly pride and short fuse, was on his way to obliterate Nabal when he was met by Abigail's gentle spirit and kind acts.
Yeah, David thought she was beautiful, but he couldn’t resist her gentle spirit.
These principles don’t feel good.
They are hard.
They don’t feel fair.
They don’t feel right.
But they are biblical principles.
These principles don’t mean you never defend yourself. You never speak up against injustice. They are guides to make sure when we are attacked our response is yielded to the leading of the Holy Spirit and not our unholy, revenge-seeking flesh.
Even if you don’t win over that difficult person, you’ve kept your integrity.